Youth | You’re Worth It!

Last week a delivered a couple speeches for year 10 students in London and Hertfordshire.  The motivational speeches entitled “You’re Worth It” was loosely based on the slogan for L’Oreal products and a reminder to the teenagers listening that although sometimes life sucks they are worth it.

I am humbled when after an hour of speaking I still see young people sitting on the edge of their seats, eyes focused forward and often crying with laughter when they listen to some of the silly stories from my own personal journey peppered with slang and idioms that that age group understand.

Often as is the case on my journey’s home from school I see another group of students making their way home.  I see by their language and dress that there is this pressure to confirm to peers. Not only are our teens bombarded with messages from their peers but the media does the same also. Girls are under enormous pressure to look (and behave) like the “stars” they see on TV and boys want to have that “hardbody swagger” that constantly seems to be the acceptable mode of manhood.

What lies beneath though is a rather sinister undertone. For all the work speakers, teachers and parents do for their teens the battle can often be a losing one. This is nothing knew as my generation and the generation before them (ad infinitum) have heard it but heck one can only refer to what we no. Although I remain optimistic about their future, and being a parent of two daughters, one a tween, I have no choice than to be. Subjects such as violence, sex, celebrity once spoken about in hushed tones is openly discussed on platforms such as Facebook without a care in the world.

The thing is. Teenage years are about discovery and rebellion if life and or adults get in the way of that discovery. As adults we have a responsibility to both guard and yet allow our youngsters that journey. Some will mess up, others will sail through without a blip and others still will make mistakes and learn from them for their betterment. It is our duty as adults to remind them of their inner beauty. Remind them that we are custodians of their wellbeing but gradually let them go out to discover the world on their own whilst still reminding them of a safe haven to return to.

Never be ashamed to look our teens in the eye, even though we sometimes could be on our last legs, and see beyond the rebellion to tell them we love them and remind, them that they are worth it! They will never forget that.

Filed under: Youth

Stuff | Cheb Mami & Sting – Desert Rose

One of my fave videos/songs. Ever.

Filed under: Arts & Music , Cheb Mami, Desert Rose, Rai, Sting

Stuff | What’s Your Name Again?

This is going to be a very short post but it has been something that has intrigued me for some time.  It’s simply this. Why is it that when there are two black males in a room most of the non black people in the room have a problem distinguishing us?

This last week I spent with a friend providing some inspirational training for a large well known retailing company. Whilst myself and my colleague are both, tall, dark and handsome at 6′2″and 6′6″ respectively on more than one occasion people referred to one of us by the others names. The thing is this, it has happened so many times in my professional career that I am beginning to wonder what the heck it is all about. I have been confused as a famous musician, a comedian and number of athletes and wonder if I should wear a big name badge.

There was one time when I had to stand up, at a management consultancy I worked for, and clearly said “My name is David, his name is Bob (name changed in case he reads this) and just because we are both the only chocolate coloured dudes here, doesn’t mean that you should be confusing us”. I had a conversation with my wife and she said the same happened with her at work, although she didn’t call herself David!

A couple of friends have also told me, and this is across all cultures, that they have had problems differentiating races. I will be honest I can usually tell the difference betwix say an African and a Caribbean or say an Eastern European and someone Nordic but have problems say distinguishing between Korean and Chinese. That said, if I worked with the person and knew their name. that would not even happen.

So am opening up the discussion. Have you ever made the mistake of calling someone else because they were of the same race, etc?

Filed under: Stuff

Culture | The Legacy of Michael Jackson

Like most geniuses, a gifted but tortured soul. A legacy of powerful entertainment and inspirational music.

Filed under: Arts & Music, Culture , king of pop, michael jackson

Culture | I Hate Political Correctness

Try as I might I am not very good at not being opinionated.  Not only on subjects that are passionate to me but also ones that provoke debate. One of the ones that sticks in my craw is political correctness. I also have a bug bear about the “diversity” (not the dance group) but that’s for another post.

OK let me set the tone. I love to network. Even though I am a fan of social media nothing beats the face to face of meeting people and making connections, and even if not for yourself for others. I love it so much I speak on the subject because I find so many people find the whole experience rather awkward. Anyhoo…I remember being at an event and over hearing a woman trying to describe me to a colleague. At the time I wasn’t wearing any of my trademark red items of clothing so she was trying to describe me as tall and…..I gently interrupted the conversation and said “the tall black guy”. Poor thing blushed to death and I apologised afterwards as I realised that I had made her feel even more uncomfortable. On reflection I realise that there are those who are scared of describing me and including my colour for fear offending. Simply put it is deemed politically incorrect.

What is it?
Political correctness is a perjorative term used to refer to language or themes that may cause offence.  So essentially when taken to it’s nth degree people cannot use certain terms. For example I grew up being known as coloured, then progressed to black to Afro Caribbean and now I describe myself as Afro Saxon. (Note to self: Must get tongue removed from cheek. Book appointment) I have noted that many songs, inanimate objects (chalkboard) and even job titles are now subject to such treatment.  A cursory listen to some of the talk shows on national or internet radio will expose you to the frustration that many have with this.  Surely we can learn how to speak to people without it having to be censored. If you  make a mistake surely there is nothing with being corrected on such words or phrases without a replacment word, which often ends up being euphemistically worse, being forced into your personal vocabulary.

What it is not?
Political correctness however should not be confused with hateful prejudice. Whilst no on should force a new language on you, it is not a stretch to see why a black person will find it unacceptable to be called me a nigger (no matter how much MTV you watch) or someone who is homosexual a queer, or a paki, carpet muncher, honkey or any other terms which the recipient most likely will be offended by.

The Thin Line
Someone once described me as coffee without milk. I found that hilarious but realise that people go through pains to make sure that they say the right thing. Here is where it is for me. We will make mistakes and how we approach language is going to always be an interesting challenge. There are those who will be confused why Bernard Manning is considered racist yet Russell Peters seen as entertaining. Mistakes will be made but surely that is all part of the human experience. Often when we get riled by someone how often have we gone to that person to address what could be their mistake rather than our own hangup and interpretation of their words.

Political correctness is not going to be answer to that where some cross cultural diktat is handed down. Dialogue is where most conflict is nipped in the bud. Conversations where one speaks another listens and if all is not clear you seek clarity.  So let’s talk.

Filed under: Culture , free speech, freedom of speech, hate, politcal correctness, politically correct

Politics | Democracy and the BNP Council Seat

There has been so much handwringing and a rather feeble attempt at a protest yesterday for the first BNP Councillor to be elected in my local council of Hertfordshire. Councillor Deirdre Gates has had a number of protests both online and offline as she took to the helm of being the first elected councillor for the British National Party.

Stop Talking
Now one of the things that really riles me about many people who protest against the BNP is that they do it from the comfort of their armchair or protest after the horse has bolted.

Filed under: Politics , BNP, British National Party, Deirdre Gates, Politics

Faith | Losing My Religion – Part 1

Since I put up my initial post on this series of essays I have had private messages, emails and comments sent to friends within my circle and old church friends asking where I was going with this.

Am I still a Christian? Do I consider the bible relevant? How can I have deprived my children of the upbringing that  I had? What’s wrong with religion? So let’s tackle some of these issues.

A Christian that I am
I am still a Christian. I follow the principles of love as exemplified by the life of Jesus Christ. The Bible as a guide book is still relevant to me, more contextual than the literal approach to which I used to take it. Prayer and meditation is now even more meaningful to me and I have a deeper sense of connectedness now that some of the arbitary boundaries are no longer there. I am a spiritual person and this is the direction that I feel dovetails with me. I don’t think I need to explain my position to anyone but if asked I am more than willing to answer why.

Filed under: Faith

Youth | Vocation Vocation Vocation

This week I received a number of wall posts and messages on Facebook from friends and young people who I have met in my journey. The reason was that they got to see me presenting on Channel 4 for the show Vocation Vocation Vocation. Whoop!

I managed to glimpse one of the them and it reminded why I really enjoyed being in the experience. Working with my copresenter Anne, we found that the wonderful production team at IWC Media did a great job of capturing the personalities and experiences of the young people we were working with. It’s actually quite nice to still be in touch with a few of them too.

Careers or Talents?

Filed under: Work, Youth , ann duff, Careers, David McQueen, talent, vocation vocation vocation, Work

Faith | Losing My Religion. Finding God

I have wanted to write for a while about my own Christian journey from where I have come to where I am going now. Mine has been an interesting one of conflicts, reassurances and even tests of faith to really challenge where I have been. I have been threatening to write a book on this for ages but for now just want to post up some stream of conciousness thoughts on an area of my life that I consider quite integral to me. my faith.

Genesis
I was brought up in church. The Protestant denomination to which I was affiliated is called the Seventh Day Adventist Church. A lot of my current thinking and faith was shaped by membership to this church. Although I no longer consider myself affiliated to any denomination this is where my journey of faith started from and most of my world views were shaped.

Filed under: Faith

Politics | Obama and The Two Sided Coin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What strikes me most about the two sides either in favour or against Obama’s speech at Notre Dame is not so much the content of their positions, I personally think both sides have very well positioned arguments about abortion, but the fact that in so many issues like this, everyone is talking…and yet no one is listening to the other.  Or am I missing something?

Filed under: Politics , abortion, debate, notre dame, Obama, Politics